Those funny phrases you see attached to the bumpers of cars and trucks.
- Learn to Kill at Ft Sill, OK (In reference to Fort Sill in Oklahoma, a Historic Landmark that now serves as home for the US Army Field Artillery School - Thank you: william Smyth)
- Life's a bitch and then you die. (Thank you: Don Schwartz)
- Life's a bitch and then you marry one (Thank you: Staralfur)
- Love and money keep people awake at night. Since I don't have either, I sleep well.
- Make your senator work, don't vote for him.
- Man is Gods best invention, and vice versa.
- Marihuana kills slowly, but I am not in a hurry.
- Marriage is a like a savings account. You put it in and out so many times, that you lose interest.
- Marriage is such a heavy load that it takes two people to carry it.
- Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.
- Moses was a basket case in denial. (Moses was put in a basket and sent down the Nile river - Thank you: Madelyn)
- My bicycle is fancier than this car (On a Mercedes Benz)
- My girlfriend can't wrestle but you should see her box ("Box" is a colloquial term for vagina (in Australia anyway, not sure about the US) - Thank you: Staralfur)
- My other car is a piece of shit too
- My other car is a Porsche
- ..My ex-wife's other car is a broom
- ..My other toy has breasts
- ....This is my other car
- My sex life is like a Ferrari, I don't have a Ferrari
- My son and my money go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.
- ..I don't care about your son.
- My son is Summa Cum Laude
- My son sold the thesis to the Summa Cum Laude
- My wife and I enjoyed 25 wonderful years... then we met. (Thank you: Staralfur)
- My wife comes with instructions... many instructions.
- N.A.D. - National Dyslexia Association (Thank you: Staralfur)
- Not all who wander are lost (Not all who are lost wander - Thank you: JP)
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
- Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus (An amalgamation of popular 70's bumber stickers. - Thank you: Kevin)
- Only God knows, if I will come back.
- Pass with care. Driver chews tobacco.
- Plant a tree, give happiness to a dog.
- Practice safe sex. Go fuck yourself.
- Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
- Remember: you are unique... Just like everyone else.
- Say no to drugs. That way you will have more time to drink.
- Say NO to prostitution. Say YES to free sex.
- Scotty, beam me up. There is no intelligent life down here.
- See that lilttle red dot on your dashboard (Weapon has a target - Thank you: J.T.)
- Smiling dog--- The world is my toilet. (Thank you: Don Schwartz)
- Some days you are like the statue, others like the pigeon.
- Some marriages end well. Others last a lifetime.
- Somebody told my friend that his wife was cheating with this best fried. He killed the dog.
- Stop poverty and hunger, eat a homeless person.
- Stop the manipulation, we want free erections.
- Target in sight at my 6 o'clock Hold your fire until advised (Don't blow me up with the car behind me - Thank you: J.T.)
- Thank God I am an atheist.
- That click you heard was the safety being switched off (You're about to get shot - Thank you: J.T)
- The ambulance behind you might be heading for your house (Move over and stop - Thank you: J.T.)
- The closer you get, the slower I go (Thank you: Staralfur)
- The confusion is very clear.
- The echo always has the last word.
- The meek shall inherit the earth - if that's OK with the rest of you (Whether they inherit the earth or not, they're still meek - Thank you: Staralfur)
- The more I understand women, the more I like my sport's car.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog! (Thank you: Harold)
- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin (Thank you: Dave Cassaro)
- The world is loosing all of its geniuses: Einstein died, Beethoven, and I have a headache.
- There are three kinds of people: those who know how to count and those who don't.
- There are two words that will open many doors for you: Push and Pull
- There is a better world, but it is too expensive.
- There is plenty of room for all God's creatures. Right next to the mash potatoes.
- There many reasons for the divorce, but the most important one was and continues to be: MARRIAGE.
- These days FIDELITY is only found in music systems.
- Think globally. Act nobly. (Originally "Think globally. Act locally." A restauranteur in Vermont came up with "Think globally. Act neighborly." I twisted the phrase a little more because it's a fine aspiration and the words fit together well. - Thank you: J.J. Staples)
- Think good thoughts: Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become character. Character becomes destiny. (Thank you: J.J. Staples)
- Time flies when you are in an airplane.
- To fight for peace, is like to fuck for virginity.
- Warning: This vehicle makes frequent stops at your mother's house.
- We are proud of our privates - US Army.
- When in doubt empty your magazine (If you're not sure, shoot - Thank you: J.T.)
- Where the hell is Easy Street?
- Whirled Peas (Frivolus - Thank you: Kendrick Bateson)
- Women - you can't live with them and you can't kill them
- Women that have small breasts are intelligent, but I like them dumb.
- Work Harder, Millions on Welfare depend on you.
- Work is for those people who do not know how to fish.
- Work never killed anybody, but why risk it?
- Would you drive better if that cell phone was up your butt?
- YES: This is my brand new pickup. NO: I won't help you move.
- You are jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Young man: if you are between 15 and 17, you are 16.
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